New Directions, New Journey

Hello world, or maybe I’ll call you “worldette,” since I imagine that there is a very small fraction of a small fraction of the world reading this – if anyone at all. I do realize that it has been months and months since I have put in a blog post up here, but much has happened, and I am newly inspired to blog and share a little more about me personally and the new journey I am on.

A few bullet points of some big changes that have occurred recently:

• Mid-March: I started in a new position within my company (www.teague.com). This was a very good move for me, and has turned into a great opportunity to learn a ton about a very interesting field: aircraft interiors. There is a little more pressure, and I have a good amount of responsibility for a number of different tasks; but I enjoy what I do and am happy to have this as another step on my career path.
• Mid-May: I left my “rent-free” lifestyle (meaning: I moved out of my parents’ house), and moved into a one bedroom in the Fremont neighborhood in Seattle. I love where I live and my apartment is the perfect size for one person. I see the fam plenty, since they live very close to my office up north (and I use their cable to keep up on True Blood). I have yet to fully take advantage of all the neighborhood has to offer, but am happy that there is so much to discover – every free weekend can hold a new adventure!
• May: I made the final payment of the smallest of my college loans. It wasn’t a very big one, but paying that off felt like getting over the first hill on my path to getting out of student debt. I have come to discover that my debt is about average for most people my age who had to take on most of the burden of their undergraduate degree, so I am happy that I am staying on top of it and that I will have great credit on the other end.
• June: Two people who have played important roles at different times of my life got married. It was wonderful to see them enter into the new phase of married life, and to be invited to take part in the celebrations. In turn, I feel that I am in a new phase of life, the “almost all my friends are getting married or are in serious relationships” phase. I am happy that I celebrate my single status and am working most on becoming the best version of myself. Though I will admit, I am quite open to any opportunity to stop being single, if only for a little bit every once in a while.
• July: My parents, in an amazing gesture of love and generosity, provided me with a life changing opportunity to get what is known as a lap band. (See: http://nwwls.com.) I had the surgery on July 15 and have been slowly recovering since then. It is because of this surgery that I have been inspired to start blogging again. I feel that having the band is going to change much more than my relationship with food and the way I look (both of which I hope to see major changes in). I don’t really know what will change, but I can see specks on the metaphorical horizon.

Major weight loss is something that will take time to come by, and not without persistence to get past the challenges and plateaus along the way. I look forward to what lies ahead in every facet of my life, and to sharing it here. Blogging forces me to articulate things very clearly, and I think that it is a great tool to use to get through transitional phases of life with grace.

Thank you, worldette, for reading. I enjoy imagining an audience of people out there who just might care about goofy ol’ me. It’s comforting and fun.

Life and the Domino Effect

“When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision." The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

My mom was reading The Alchemist a few weeks ago and shared this with me when she came upon this, saying it sounded a lot like what I am currently going through - and I couldn't agree more.

In early February, a position opened up within a different department in my company and I decided to go ahead and apply for it. The position, officially entitled "Documentation and Aircraft Photography Coordinator" sounded like something I was almost perfectly qualified for, and could be a potential stepping stone towards the yet-to-be-discovered career of my dreams. The decision to apply was one that I danced around and almost failed to make. There were excuses running through my head as to why it would be a bad idea, why I shouldn't apply, but at the end of the day I decided that I really had nothing to lose - so I went for it.

After updating and submitting my resume to the hiring manager, things just took a momentum of their own. I literally felt like I just pushed a single domino, and everything around me started moving and falling into place. Before I even interviewed, my manager wrote a glowing e-mail recommendation to the heads of that department. Following my interview, I later discovered that those managers started asking about me around the company and made the decision to hire me soon after. (I wouldn't learn about any of this until the week after the made their decision - though a number of people started asking pointed questions and looking at me when very knowing eyes, so I had my suspicions, but zero confirmations.) At the beginning of March, I was offered the job and started mid-month - after what felt like almost zero effort on my end. All I had to do was take that first step.

From there, I started to realized the job change was just the kickstart I have been waiting for in my life. Not only am I in a position that is a little more interesting (and will give me more direct exposure to design and the work my company does - you can see some of it at www.teague.com), but I now feel ready to allow the other parts of my life to gain a little focus and momentum. I have already been included in social activity outside of the office, I have had more inspiration and motivation to find a community, and my mind is gearing up to search for and embrace more changes as this year continues.

All this because I decided to hand my resume to a manager.

Food for Thought

Your next move does not need to be right forever, it just needs to be right for now.

Reading: Time to Stop Procrastinating the Fun

With the beginning of the New Year, there have been many articles popping up giving advice and support to people on making resolutions and keeping them. This article, while not necessarily specific to resolutions, has become the fuel for my newly evolving resolution.

Delaying our own gratification.

It could be just me, but I think we all do this on some level. Think of when you grab that handful of jelly beans (or any other sweet or nosh) with a mix of flavors. I know when I am in this situation, something peculiar occurs: I eat my least favorite flavors first - giving way to the whole concept of saving "the best for last." But why do I [we] do this? Why even grab the least favorite flavors at all? Why do I always end up with a tasty palm full of cherry red jelly beans, when I've already maxed out on the less-pleasant orange and yellow ones? Why didn’t I go for what I wanted first?

While this isn't a direct analogy, I am sure my point is clear. This year, I will not fall back into patterns of waiting for a "better" time to do something I find enjoyable. My self-improvement aspirations also fall into this category. If something comes along that sounds fun and adventurous, I will do it (unless practicalities like financial and time resources do not allow for immediate follow through… in that case I will make a plan for execution – no excuses).

Next time I see that red cherry jelly bean, I will savor it first and leave those pesky orange and yellow beans to stay in the bowl for someone else to consume. Best not waste time and effort on things that I don't want in the first place.

Bring it on 2010. I’m ready for you.

*If the link above does not work, you can find the article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/29/science/29tier.html 

Dropping Bad Habits: Living by Comparison

Making the decision to actively pursue life is one that brings to light a lot of bad habits I have picked up in the short time I have been alive. One majorly bad habit (or activity, or way of thinking, or however you'd like to put it) is the tendency to compare my life to those around me.

Common thoughts that occur:

• "Oh look at [person my age], they already know what they are doing with their life. They have a career, a great place to live, and an awesome social life. What's wrong with me, in that I don't have any of those things figured out?" 
• "Holy crap, those lists of top actors/CEOs/entrepreneurs under 25 is really depressing. Why haven’t I accomplished anything close to that yet?”
• “Oh look at [successful 40-something person]; they started their career by my age. Why haven’t I started on my own amazing career path… will I ever knowsuccess?”
• “I am alone in my career concerns. Everyone around me has their sh*t together, and I am messily stumbling through adulthood.”

In conversation with the wise adults and perceptive peers that fill my life, I have found that I am not the first (nor last) person to have thoughts like these. I am not alone in any of my confusion. I am not alone in this tendency to compare myself to others.

 

This pattern of thought can be quite damaging to anyone. In comparing myself to others, I am just setting myself up for disappointment and frustration within my own situation. Measuring my own success through the way others have made their path in life belittles me and all the great things I have accomplished in recent years.

 

So this is a new commitment: when I am tempted to compare my personal or professional life to another person, the only thing I will look at is the lessons they have learned that I may be able to apply to my own life-voyage.

 

Of course I will falter. There will always be that internal inclination to look outward to figure out where I should be in life. It is hard to avoid. But I will try. I don’t want anyone else to tell me how to live, not even my demanding inner-self. Right now I am exactly where I need to be – I’m ready and rarin’ to grow.

 

Reading: "What Should I Do With My Life?"

This morning I stumbled onto this article from back in January (2009).

I really appreciate this writer's honesty and great perspective on finding meaningful work. He tells us to stop deluding ourselves.

I especially loved this:

"It's not what you do, it's what you're working towards."

I highly recommend this article. It's nice to have someone shatter the old idea that part of me is holding onto - that there is one perfect career out there for me and that I just need to figure out how to find it. In all honesty, there are many possible career paths I could take and be totally satisfied. Given, there will always be features that I don't like. There will be people I don't agree with. There will be procedures I'd rather not follow (but have to anyway). There will be some bad days where I'm wearing my "cranky pants." With that, however, if I believe in what I am working towards (be it some sort of artistic production, some interesting business solution, some other sort of amazing end), every ounce of strife, sweat, and tears will be a badge of honor on my path to accomplishment and selt satisfaction.

I look forward to receiving metaphorical slaps in the face... often. I am still young by many comparisons, and just a toddler in the working world. There is a lot to learn: about life, about work, and about other people in the working world. I'm just happy that I am lucky enough to have a good start - I feel I am being polished for a bright future.

Commit meant what?

One major principle that is coming to light through my reading is the idea of commitment. Unattached and unfocused, I have spent the past year telling myself that I can't really commit to anything. The reasoning was varied and without logic or sound mind; and at the end of the long line of excuses there was one part of me that thought a life without commitment equaled freedom. (More on that later.)

What a funny thing: commitment. The word holds many more connotations than actual meaning. Without acknowledging it, my life has been full of many commitments- constant ones, which until now have held other titles. For example: every morning, I am committed to listening to my “Morning Pump-Up” playlist on my computer. I commit to applying eyeliner before I get dressed. I commit to wearing Vans or Converse as often as I can. I commit to discovering a new band every week. I commit to my friends, but in a way that allows them to flow in and out of my life as circumstances change. I commit to never becoming a blonde. I commit to never shopping at Walmart.
Commitments are wants put into action. Or more precisely, they are pledges to put wants into action. They can be as simple as brushing my teeth every day, or as complex as loan payments or long term relationships. In regards to my own personal development (in my social and work worlds), I can take a new approach and commit to actually making a plan and following through.
Wants, wishes, and dreams are wonderful; but those and $5 will get me a latte. It is in the action, the commitment, to my own plan and my own aspirations where I will find my way.
The days of claiming fear of commitment are over. I have always had the power to change my own path, my own destiny. Now it is just time to take action.

Hmm… this might get overwhelming. I guess I should also look into my whole fear of failure thing too. One step at a time, I'll get there.

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

~Martin Luther King, Jr.